Saturday, 2 December 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
In other news, I have been having bad luck with library books as of late. First, I wanted to get The Anarchist Cookbook, after reading Mr. W----'s copy's instructions for making plastic explosive from bleach. After all, who wouldn't want to know such things? Then I found out that not only is it reference, but also damaged! Damned anarchists. Then, I ordered a copy from Pine River, which said it was "availiable." And by "available," of course, they meant "reference." Then, upon W----'s suggestion, I ordered Œdipus Rex. Now, with a name like that it must be in Latin, Right? So now I'm sitting here with a Greek and English Ωιδιπους Τυραννος (Oidipous Tyrannos). Sure, it's still good reading, but I don't get to strengthen my Latin--which I'm going to need, seeing as I just opened up an account for my Latin blog.
Saturday, 18 November 2006
I got to start off the day alone, meaning I didn't have to wait for anyone to wake up before I left. This was about the best thing that happened to me all day. For shortly afterwards, I got a call from my mother stating that not only did I have to bring her shoes to her, but that my birthday party was to be held there. Where is "there?" Why, it's the house of my mother's boyfriend, a man whom I have known for roughly one week. Now, I consider my birthday to be a very special and familial event. Not enough to where he couldn't be invited, but certainly it shouldn't be held in a stranger's house. I said so, though not quite so eloquently, and she was adamant that I go and hold my party there. I'll get into that in more detail later.
Then after getting locked out of Spanish before school and listening to an anti-flippant speech--I, personally, have always been a great admirer of the form--I got to write a DBQ. Now, for those of you who don't remember, that is where you are handed a series of documents on a particular topic and must write and essay about them. Only this year there's a twist: you must draw all of your conclusions from the documents--for they choose something obscure, this time the extent to which women were encouraged to be educated between the 16th and 18 centuries. Last year's question in AP US History (I'm in AP European History this year) was on the changing role of women from the Colonial period to the Civil War, including the Mothers of the Republic and the Cult of Domesticity; which led to an interesting pair of quotes, though the second, in my opinion, didn't get enough credit: first, the good ol' Puritan-basher and nudism causer from the quote compendium, whom I sould give and alias, even though I already used her real name on my comment on the Xanga version of that post: "I don't like women anymore!" Followed by the course's instructor: "I thought that that was a genetic predisposition, and you didn't get a choice in it." Regardless of this, it was a miserable essay as I failed to prepare, and only ended up writing half of it by the time class finished.
Then in English 'twas a similar tale, though I ended up handing in nothing. And on to lunch, where they had Polish sausage on main line. So, of course, I had to take it. And with the main line trays being so small, I walked away from lunch hungry.
On the plus side, after getting my name on the local radio, though I didn't win--and I did last year, and so it makes sense--I had two people who heard the announcement wish me a happy birthday. Would that their wishes had been fulfilled...
So, after an all-right next few hours, I went to my mum's work in order to tell her that I wouldn't be at her boyfriend's place for my birthday, as it would be completely inapropriate. And she was going far to quickly with this one, which she promised she wouldn't. She insisted, as my sister was coming, and I begrudgingly accepted and left. Maybe on the way home I should have unbuckled and crashed: I mum's grieving is anthing like her love, she'd be over it in a fortnight. Anyway, at home I got a call saying that she would call it off if that's what I wanted. Yes, of course. If I don't want to hold my birthday celebration in the house of someone whom it would be a streach to call an acquaintance, someone who's name it takes me ten minutes to remember, someone whom I could not pick out of a croud, then I must want no party at all. So finally after some time she called back saying that her boyfriend was willing to take the party to me if that's what I want, but no-one else could make it to my house because this was all planned out already, and couldn't be changed. Great, so she organised a party in a strange house with people I don't know for my last birthday before eighteen, and didn't consider me in the equation untill it was too late to change it. She sounded somewhat teary, but like they say, sometimes you have to let them cry it out...
So I said, "okay, I'll have a meal--a nice, polite meal--there, and then we can have the cake and present-opening here." For my sister's sake, I let some cake be eaten there. So what happens? What should be and hour, hour-and-a-half ends up being three hours, during which, in more of mum's wonderful logic, they placed a candle atop the cake and sang "happy birthday." Then we went home and mum's boyfriend talked to me endlessly about unrelated things--I'm not trying to be your father, that kind of thing.
So, though it didn't turn out that way: Felicem diem natalem.
Friday, 10 November 2006
Challenge: what language did I translate this into and out of using an internet translator:
The sick one… cannot think. The OH, Xanga has modifications… that it is interesting. To sleep of Flight… That is the entrance of the blog of ché normal person is similar, is not? Equally Badly I have had sig.na Cervantes… Who was playing it? My tonsils have damaged. I hope that it does not have to obtain it outside… I appreciate to have it. I could psychosomatic get worse my diseases I interest on my mind. Which thing is Norwegian as? They are felt to me that it was like German drunken. Xanga adds to the spaces a lot. Mine linguophilia it is to exit of the hand--I am transferring a Bible from the system centers them towards the satellites Chinese. To know all the free programs in order to read other things? The Bible one is good graceful, but I do not wish to read to the same thing all the time.
Sunday, 17 September 2006
A week or two ago: tempus vomit
Now all we’re left with Jeff Corwen. True, he’s the coolest wannabe ever…but he’s just that—a wannabe. But, maybe his career will skyrocket, now that he’s at the top…or maybe people who have never heard of him
Well, in lighter news, I heard “Stairway to Heaven” backwards. You see, that’s one of the few songs that actually have something to say. I was told it was a verse-long Satanic anthem, but when I reversed it all that I heard was an emphatic “Satan” twice and a shaky “666.” How boring. But, there is still hope: I recorded it off of the radio using a cheap microphone and the default sound recorder. I’m hoping to hear Queen’s “Another one bites the dust,” which is supposed to say “it’s fun to smoke marijuana.” And then there’s supposedly a Weird Al song that says “Satan eats cheese whiz.” No “Paul is dead,” but oh well.
Now that we’ve lost the sombreness, it’s time for that English lesson I promised: the use of profanity. Now, swear words are a very important thing in a language: they give teens a reason to learn foreign words, spark censorship debates, and everyone recognises them. I mean, what’s the most unchanging word in the Romance languages? Merda. Even in Romania, where a mater is a mama and a caballus a cal, merda is still merda. And even a French mère atop her cheval will concede that it’s merde. Why do I bring this up? Because our profanities are collapsing. Now, sure, certain words can be used as interjections, and colloquial expressions like “this shit is great” are perfectly fine—after all, swearing is largely colloquial. However, even profanities have their own, separate meanings and associated phrases. I have heard—I shit you not—“what the balls?” Are we really that pathetic? Admittedly, this is an extreme example—but we are rushing to the edge of a precipice. If this trend isn’t fixed, in a couple of generations we will hear, in common speech, “kiss my fuck.” If that were to happen, I think I would be too embarrassed to admit that I could speak English.
Saturday, 16 September 2006
Blogs: Which is the best?
XANGA
Age Limit: Thirteen to join, eighteen to view entries rated highly.
Layout options: A few colour changes, background music. The real good thing is that you can add your own codes.
Profile: In-depth
Time coding: Automatic.
Titles: Ninety characters
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: Of course not.
Ratings: Enforced—you select what you are comfortable viewing, as long as it’s not older than you are. Unfortunately, It’s very vague and American (e.g. if it’s inappropriate for a thirteen-year-old, it’s inappropriate for a seventeen-year-old), and others can rate your entry.
Groups: “Blogrings” (interests) and “Metros” (hometowns)
These are for: Finding similar blogs.
Limit: 6
Tags: None
Separate sections for: Reviews, events, memories (can be uploaded by others).
Foreign characters: Become ?’s in the blog (though not in the reviews). (“Æ” and “œ” are okay)
Comments: E-mailed to you. Happen every once-in-a-while.
Price: Free, but pushes for paying constantly. Many features are confined to Premium.
Pictures: For free, it’s something like two. Premium gets more, and Premium Plus gets infinite (though they can only upload a certain amount a month). Anyway, they’re only for display.
The first site my blog was on! As such, it has always held a special place in my heart. There are some problems. For example, I have never gotten a reply when I’ve e-mailed for help. And then there are “E-Props.” These are supposedly a way to tell someone you like their entry, however they are illogically defaulted to two—the highest rating available. This means that even if you have comments like this {link to “vile bigotry and hatred” comment}, you get two. And then there’s the Xanga Block. It’s not a problem, it’s just strange. It’s an option that lets you restrict viewing of your Xanga site to people logged in to Xanga. Everyone praised it as a wonderful addition, but I don’t see the point.
All in all, I give it four stars, along with one brown dwarf (almost a star—think Jupiter) for the prospect of premium.
YAHOO 360°
Age Limit: Must be eighteen.
Layout options: Pre-made themes.
Profile: Somewhat full.
Time coding: None—by default the date is your entries title.
Titles: One hundred characters
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: Yes, after submission.
Ratings: None.
Groups: “Yahoo Groups”
These are for: Sending out newsletters and e-mailing 2000 people at once.
Limit: As many as you can handle.
Tags: None
Separate sections for: Reviews, RSS, Calendar.
Foreign characters: Accepted.
Comments: Supposedly e-mailed to you. Never gotten one, though my page has been viewed hundreds of times
Price: Free
Pictures: A few. For display.
Us too! Yahoo gets into blog world. What’s nice is that you only need one account for all of the Yahoo services. So, if you have their e-mail and listen to LaunchCast, why not get a blog? The interesting thing is, Yahoo groups are for, as I said, mass e-mails. So, even though they’re listed on your blog, they really have nothing to do with it. These are interesting, but you can get to where you’re getting five hundred e-mails a day. Really, I only go there when I have to (i.e. when I update).
I give this site one star, for effort.
MYSPACE
Age Limit: Must be thirteen to join, eighteen to do anything.
Layout options: Colour changes, background music.
Profile: Pervasive.
Time coding: Date and time can be changed. There is about a six year window on the past and a three year one on the future.
Titles: One hundred characters
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: Yes, after submission.
Ratings: None.
Groups: “Groups” (How original)
These are for: Discussing topics on a message board and uploading photos.
Limit: As many as you can claim to be interested in (for the sake of spamming, of course).
Tags: None
Separate sections for: Videos, Friends, News, Calendar, Groups, Pictures (Blogging is really a small part of it).
Foreign characters: Disappear on the blog and become gibberish on the groups.
Comments: “Hey baby. Even though you don’t have a picture, I think you’re cute. Pay for an account at this site and you can see me naked: nonexistent.geocities.com/”.
Price: Free.
Pictures: No limit that I know of. Can be commented on.
MySpace is evil. It is an over-hyped, overly-pop-culture, ad-saturated, nauseating site where the pages randomly stop loading more often than not. The only reason I go there—aside from updating—is because one of the groups I belong to actually has something interesting to say.
I give this site two stars, one of which has collapsed into a soul-sucking black hole.
BLOGGER
Age Limit: None that I know of.
Layout options: Colour changes, pre-loaded themes.
Profile: Alright.
Time coding: Automatic.
Titles: No limit that I know of.
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: …
Ratings: None.
Groups: None.
These are for: …
Limit: …
Tags: None
Separate sections for: Nothing—it’s only a blog.
Foreign characters: accepted.
Comments: E-mailed to you. Haven’t gotten any.
Price: Free.
Pictures: None.
A pure blog! No extra bells and whistles to sell it to the public. As such, it requires minimal advertising. It also shows what blogs have been updated recently on the homepage, allowing you to see many strange and interesting blogs. And you can have multiple ones per account, if you’re into that kind of thing.
I give it three, since it’s a good site, despite its lack of features.
BLOG-CITY
Age Limit: None that I know of.
Layout options: A disturbing amount. Really, customising can consume you.
Profile: Pretty detailed.
Time coding: Automatic.
Titles: No limit that I know of.
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: …
Ratings: None.
Groups: None.
These are for: …
Limit: …
Tags: It saves your previous tags—allowing you to pull them up with a click—and lists your most used ones on the side of your page. There is also a feature that allows you to see recent blog entries with those tags.
Separate sections for: Management, Tags.
Foreign characters: Accepted.
Comments: Listed on management page, but when you click on them, it says that you have none.
Price: Free.
Pictures: One. For display.
Well, it’s another site…
Two and a half stars.
GATHER
Age Limit: None that I know of.
Layout options: None that I know of.
Profile: A few categories.
Time coding: Automatic.
Titles: No limit that I know of.
And does it tell you when you’ve exceeded this limit: …
Ratings: Five “adult” categories—language, nudity, violence, explicit sexual activity, and “other”—which you have to check if your article contains that. This is displayed in small red text at the top of your article.
Groups: “Groups” again
These are for: Publishing articles to select audiences.
Limit: None, and you only publish articles to the groups you want.
Tags: You enter them at the bottom of the entry, and then in another window it suggests other tags that are often used with those tags. Also, they are used on everything. In fact, that’s how you look for things.
Separate sections for: Groups, Friends, Tags, Recently published.
Foreign characters: Turned into long lines of gibberish.
Comments: E-mailed to you. Happen frequently.
Price: Free.
Pictures: More or less a form of entry—comments, tags, the works.
Xanga may still be my favourite, but Gather has to be the best. The interesting thing is that it isn’t really a blog. You post your articles into a sort of communal bulletin, where people view everyone’s at once. This always makes me feel like I have to change the title for Gather, so that it actually reflects the article. After all, I don’t want false advertising…
I give this site the full five bright, life supporting stars.
Well, there you have it. My report on the blogging community: an interesting collection of whiners, extremist nutjobs, and, worse still, both.
Seeing as this entry should really be geared toward all audiences, my English lesson—“the use of profanity”—will have to wait.
Thursday, 6 July 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006: Pædicabo ego vos, et irrumabo.
But, that’s not all of the news. They’re also debating allowing race to be considered when deciding if someone’s a terrorist. Hopefully I didn’t disturb the neighbours, yelling at the radio.
In light of these events, I’m open for country-shopping suggestions.
Wednesday, 21 June 2006
4//: Itchy. Tasty.
“Vegetarians can eat chicken as long as it’s organic.”
[In reference to the Puritans’ belief of “The Elect” doing well] “How could they believe that when the Bible says that the only way you can be saved is to give up everything you own?” [I’m not entirely certain of the wording of that one]
[In reference to the student quoted above] “Actually, she’s a lot better than she used to be.”
[In reference to her again] “If she gets valedictorian, I’ll walk across the stage naked.”
“In Hebrew there are five words for love. [Lists the four Greek words for ‘love’]”
[In reference to Jesus Dress-up] “You know, this could be considered sacrilegious.”
“Don’t go out with people. You know, you get emotionally involved, and then you just break up at the end, and then you’re crushed…
I have a friend who says ‘Well, I’m not going to get married, because you just pay for the wedding and then you have to pay for the divorce.’ Well, then, just don’t get divorced.” [Not sure I about that one, either]
[When hearing about pre-4000 BCE Egypt] “But the world is only 6000 years old. It says so in the Bible.”
“…the three major world religions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. I guess Hinduism and Buddhism are getting up there, but for now we’ll call these the big ones.”
[In response to the question “When is Easter?”] “It’s whenever the Church says it is.”
[In response to “Who was Buddha?] “The god of Buddhism.”
“Voy al restaurante porque estoy hombre.”
[In response to the above quote] “You go to the restaurant because you’re temporarily a man?”
“He’s my friend. [Pets partially disemboweled pig fetus]”
[Dialogue] “[Half sarcastically] The correct pronunciation isn’t /a:nt/, it’s /ænt/.”
“Actually, it’s /a:nt/, look in the dictionary.”
“Actually, it’s either. They’re called dialects.”
[After hearing what evolution actually is] “Oh, so you can’t be looking at a monkey in a zoo and POOF it’s a human?”
“…one nation, under God, indivisible…”
[In reference to The Da Vinci Code] “It’s got Tom Hanks, and he trumps the Catholic faith any day.”
[While looking at a Latin dictionary] “This is the best book ever!”
[After being informed that religious harassment is a crime] “So? Being a nark is stupid. I mean, not as bad as being and Atheist, but still…”
[From the same person, after no mention of skill] “Because I’m better than you.”
[About the above quoted person] “…he said ‘it was probably my mom’s dick rubbing against you.’ I swear, that’s the best come-back I’ve ever heard that kid make!”
“Isn’t it true that classical music makes you grow lots of new paths in your brain, while rock actually kills off existing ones?”
[After giving an example of German] “I said that she likes to give head but isn’t any good at it.”
[After hearing about the Law of Conservation of Mass] “Then how did God create the Universe?”
[In response to “Why eat only plants?”] “Because it’s more natural.”
“Time flies. Or, as they say in the Marines, ‘tempus fugit.’ They don’t say ‘when you’re having fun’ in the Marines.”
“I’m aganotistic. I believe in a higher power, but I don’t think it’s God or Jesus or whatever.”
“I see all the horror movies that come out, even that really stupid one, Dawn of the Dead. Or no, not that, Land of the Dead. Yeah, that was the one. I mean, zombies aren’t that smart.”
[After hearing that Atheists have no religious obligations] “Oh, because my pastor told us about some Atheists going to church on Saturday.”
[After hearing the Latin meanings of “penis” and “vagina”] “Hey, you should ask Mrs. [name forgotten] if you can put your tail in her sheath.”
“It was just like Lade spaketh and knowledge did flow forth.”
There are a few quotes that I think were said, but I’m not entirely certain.
“Tengo bored.”
“Holland is the capital of the Netherlands.”
Ah, Brainerd. Any additional quotes would be highly appreciated. Until then, these will be my memories of school over the summer, if I ever care to think about it. Perhaps in my next two years before graduation I will hear more audible delights.
Thursday, 1 June 2006
Quid Freemasons putavunt National Treasure?
Primus, meæ scholæ maledicam. Schola docere mihi Hispanola contatur. “Contatur” dico quod in uno mense scio multior Latinum quam Hispaniolam—ut nonum mensem dicebam. Certe, Hispaniola mihi venit facilior, sed in Latina loqui res iucundiores possum.
Illo faciente, mox ire ad rem aliam volo: blogem meam. Vel loqui “bloges meas omnes” debeo, ut quinctos teneo. Et hoc, tenebunt quadragesimos tres legentes. Sed erat bonum tenere quadragesimos duo... Bloges meæ sunt in Xanga, Myspace, Yahoo 360°, Blogspot, atque Blog-City. Dificilis est illæ hic facere. Sed, bloges amo meæ.
Schola perficit. Anni libros tenet populus. Unum non teneo. Et unum recentem et unum de MCMXXII vidi. Unus de MCMXXII melior. Unus de MCMXXIV fuit optimus. Nunc libri anni sunt merdosi—multæ mentulæ picturas ponent in libros et vendunt eos $LX. In MCMXXII atque MCMXXIV tenebant vaticinationes scholæ, fabulas scholæ, ceteraque. Væ, o tempora! Ut in libro anni legit, ‘caveat emptor libri anni.’
Nescio si hæc longitudo solitus est, quod lego hoc in pagina. Sed, puto tempus est ei perficere. Valete!
Friday, 19 May 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006: Είναι όλα Ελληνικά για μένα!--Eínai óla Ellēniká gia ména!
I have been at Latina for a few weeks, and know a lot of grammar and have somewhat of a vocabulary—or at least too much to try and write down. I like that I can set my own schedule and learn at my own pace, but it’s easy to forget to do it for a while.
Español I have been at since the beginning of the school year, however it is so slow. It would be great to talk to others with it, if they picked up languages quickly. But they don’t, except for exchange students, who I am never partnered up with. But, it does have a wealth of information, if they ever get around to it.
I have tried Énglisc since sometime last year, and have the grammar down fairly well—it’s like Latin, but simpler. As for vocabulary…Er, let’s not talk about that. But, there’s always the time for more.
The last language is the reason that this article is so simple—it’s hard to concentrate on blogging with Frysk blaring in your ear. I’m starting to understand it a bit more, but don’t ask me to speak it. It’s supposed to be 80% similar to English, but that remaining 20% is more than you’d think.
An English lesson would be highly appropriate, but I need these last six minutes to post this on my blogs, and this Frisian radio is polluting my mind.
Friday, May 05, 2006: Is it correct to say "this individual..." in reference to a conformist?
Which brings me to the rules and ceremony of the Advanced Placement test: we started with a slow creep toward the main section—filling out the sacred name form. Our charismatic leader, the proctor, slowly led us through the process, giving us exact instructions and wasting a ridiculous amount of time. We were to do exactly what she said when she said it and not an instant sooner. Not to mention our gag rule—to reference the subject. The test, you see, consists of three parts: a multiple choice section of eighty questions, a document-based question (DBQ), and two free response questions. According to the AP gods, we may never speak of the multiple choice questions with anyone. The free response questions mayn’t be discussed until our history teacher gives them back to us, forty-eight hours after the test—which by my watch is on Sunday. The DBQ, to the best of my knowledge, is fair game. I, however, have not the time to mention it—save that it sucked—and will commence that task later.
Thursday, May 04, 2006: ΛTΛLNTIS, THE ISLΛND, what’s with all of the lambdas? When will people realise how moronic that looks?
Especially the essays. Now, I can write a mean essay, but there is the problem of time constraint and legibility. First of all, time. I take a while to write. A long while. I used to have to hand in half-essays on test days. This would be partially due to the second problem: my handwriting. No one likes my script: it confuses, it drives people to the edge, it makes them want to shoot themselves, and it may even have caused some minor wars. It is looping, full of flourishes, and all-in-all 1800’s-ish. Sans neatness. It runs together, it flies wild, it dances across the page—and I mean that in the worst possible way. So, if they can read it, I get it done on time, and I don’t get an essay on labour unions, I should be set.
But, enough about that. There are more important things than AP. I think… All right, I can’t think of anything at the moment, but I’m working on it…
Thursday, April 06, 2006: Why can I never remember the titles I think up?
And this isn't the first case of bigotry in that class. Many were talking about how horrible Atheists are some time ago. They never discussed reasons for it, merely the idea. But, I don't remember enough about that incident to comment on it sufficiently.
At any rate, time for today's English lesson: number VII--mathematical operations. Fill in the blank: to order someone to do the following operation: 9+7, you tell them to _____ nine and seven. If you said "plus," then this is for you. "Plus," "minus," and "times" aren't mathematical operations--they are symbols. One times one is one, but if you multiply one and one, you get two. No exceptions. Good bye for now.
Monday, March 16, 2006: Since I always accidently use it, I switched to British English. Tell me if it looks too odd.
At any rate, to news: First, let’s talk about that checking of updates. Evidently, the library’s new content filter blocks Normal Bob Smith dot com as adult content! Why on earth would they do that? I mean, it’s just a humour site. But, then I went to their web site. Evidently, it includes “crude and tasteless” material. How do they define that? Well, it may include things insulting religion, if I know society. So, if they ever contact me, I’ll have to see if they block sites such as Chick Publications for the same reason, since it applies just as much to Christian sites as it does to Atheist ones—or at least it should. I wouldn’t want to do that, though. Some people would want to go to those. Of course, that isn’t the worst of their overdone censorship. The other ones I remember are:
Pornography/recreational nudity:
… [This] includes naturism, streaking, and other activities which include nudity/see-through clothing.
Bathing suits/underwear/lingerie
Sites which have pictures of models in bathing suits, lingerie, and other highly revealing attire.
Alternative lifestyles:
Non-pornographic sites with information about gay, lesbian, and bisexual lifestyles and activities.
News and information:
Sites with news topics and information. This is useful for business computers and other situations where time-wasting is undesired.
Games:
Sites which have games. This includes strategy, puzzle, and other single player, non-betting games.
Personal sites:
Sites such as Geocities, Xanga, and Angelfire, which offer free personal web pages.
Search sites:
Sites which search a catalog or part of the internet.
Translators:
Sites that offer electronic translation services.
Web-based e-mail
Sites which offer free web-based e-mail.
Religion:
Any site which advocates worship of a Supreme Being as the Creator of the Universe.
That last one really caught me off guard. You wouldn’t expect any company to offer a filter which blocks all information on monotheism, and even less to claim to block all religion. Luckily, you pick which ones you want, and according to the local teen librarian—who is against all internet filters—they only took pornography and adult content.
Anyways, next I would like to talk about the dumbing down of everyone. Let’s start with baby’s first words. Now, I like to imagine a time when people would actually try to have their infants say “mother” and “father,” but judging by how different the word “dad” is from “father,” that was quite some time ago. Still, I’d like to imagine some tenth-century peasant looking at his offspring and telling him to “cweð fæder.” At first he just looks at him and spits a little, but then his developing synapses begin to fire. “Ffdǽdderrr!” “Ná, Ná.” says the father: “Fæder. Cweð fæder.” “Dæder!” “Fæder, mín cild, fæder.” At any rate, this goes on for some time, and then he gets quite angry, seeing as his ass—the animal, you moron—just died, and yells “FÆDER! HIT IS FÆDER!” Then the infant starts crying. Being a caring fæder, he tries to calm his infant, saying “Sc, sc. Hit is dæder. Hit is dæder. Scscsc.” He gets the child to stop crying, but somehow forgets to tell his wife about their infant’s new word.
So the cild is raised with the word dæder as part of his vocabulary, and when his son is an infant he teaches him the word thinking nothing of it. This spreads over the years, until in 1066 England is invaded by the French. Now, the French didn’t like how the English spelled things, so they had them not write Englisc at all, and if they had to, not to use the letters þ, ð, or æ, along with no accent marks. That, along with the virtual silence of –er in French—and thus Anglo-French—resulted in the familiar word “dad.”
This was more or less stable for about nine centuries, with people even starting to talk about “dad,” a word they never would have admitted to back when it was “dæder”—which would explain why the dictionary doesn’t give a strait answer on the origins of word “dad.” The original dialogue was even imitated by a mother, who begrudgingly let her child think that she was a “mom,” as opposed to a mother.
But then came the gender wars. During those, the mother and father fought to see whether their children would say “mom” or “dad” first. Then came the worst assault on the English language yet—mama and dada. Judging by these atrocities, all we need is a kick up in gender wars or another dead ass, and parents will start counting “d-d-d-d” as a word.
Well, I can’t think of an English lesson for today. Perhaps you should be proud of yourself. But heed my warning: teach any children you might have in the future the words “father” and “mother.” Perhaps we can curtail this; just like that tenth-century peasant did with fæder. Farewell and have a good life.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
But, at any rate, I would like to discuss what began yesterday. Yesterday was the beginning of Lent, which normally wouldn't affect an atheist such as myself--in fact I hadn't even heard of it until a few years ago--were it not for the fact that our schools bend over backwards to accommodate it. You see, during Lent Catholics can't eat any meat that isn't fish on Fridays for some reason.They also have to give up something important to them for its duration--I'm not sure how long that is. I'd like to see one give up religion, but that's just me. Anyway, in elementary and middle school we only had one lunch line, which on Fridays during Lent had some fish meal which they never served at any other time in the year. Note that they didn't give kosher food during the rest of the year, and they sometime served beef, and they probably didn't follow the dietary constraints of many other religions that I don't know of.
At any rate, then I went to Forestview for a semester, due to remodelling in my old school--Mississippi. They had four lines: a main line, a grill, a pizza line, and a salad bar. Now, they allowed bag lunches in the previous schools, so it doesn't make any sense for them to change their meals specifically for Catholics anyway, but with a salad bar surely they wouldn't, would they? Yes, they would. All of these lines had odd, land-dwelling meat-less dishes which weren't served at any other time in the year. They weren't even being sneaky about it.
And so we come to Senior High. Now they finally have the courage to offer some alternatives. Yet they still have those odd dishes. Not the infamous veggie burger, or just saying to eat from the salad bar or bring your own lunch like Orthodox Jews, Hindus, Muslims, et cetera.
At any rate, time for English lesson number six--I fucked up on numbering that last one. "Gots" is not a word. Say "has" or "has got," you fucking moron. Is it really that hard to move the "s" to the noun?
Tuesday, February 28, 2006: Instant newsfead-Bush refuses to set timeline for return of movie rentals.
Thursday, February 23, 2006: My hovercraft is full of eels.
But, now time for English lesson number four: the word lend. This time it's not a word that people use where they shouldn't. This one they don't use at all. At least around here. They honestly think that it is proper to say that they will borrow something to someone. Now, just like the "jift" thing with Celtic, I shall apply similar grammar to another sentance for this: "if you don't return that, I'll have to give it from you by force." It's just as proper and sounds just as intelligent.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006: A Proverb is the Chisel for the marble of the foolish Mind.
So, here's the process: first, the kind of machine. It's the V540 by Vendco. These look identical to another Vendco machine, so check the little side plate thingy. They have 12 large buttons with images of the products on them, arranged in three rows of four with a divider in the middle which contains the display area. Know what I'm talking about? Alright, now what you do is press the first, then third, then second, then fourth button in the first row. After words, the first row is cycle through options, the second select, and the third is back. Your options are "sales data," "diagnostic," and "return." Under sales data, you can cycle through statistics for the different selections.
And now for English lesson number three: the word "stealer." This is not an independant, functioning word. You can not be a "stealer," only a thief. You may be a scene stealer, or something like that, however you should rather use the verb with and adjective, i.e. scene stealing basterd.
Friday, February 17, 2006: Insanity is fun!
Spay or neuter your children-
It helps them live longer lives
They will have fewer behavioral problems
Orphanages and families spend thousands of dollars on unwanted children
Do it for love-
Unaltered children are more likely to run off
An unaltered female can theoretically produce 9 children in a single gestation
An unaltered male can theoretically produce 78840 offspring in a single year
Or maybe it was pets. I don't know, it makes about as much sense either way. And I love how they use the word "unaltered." I usually use "intact" for unsterilised and or uncircumcised (don't get me started on that...).
But at any rate, any salutation is incmplete without a little bit of abuse. So it's time for English lesson number two! Today's lesson: the word "Celtic." Say this word aloud. How did you pronounce that initial "C"? If you pronounced it like the c in "crop," then find one of those elementary school star stickers and put it on your tongue. If you pronounced it like the "c" in "cinema," punch yourself in the teeth. Then point out this article to whoever you heard that pronunciation from. If you pronounced it like the "C" in Cnidaria, then I don't know what to do with you. It always amazes me that people say they got a "Seltic" cross, yet they don't say that they got it as a "jift." But, that's just my personal irritance. Good bye for now.
Thursday, February 16, 2006: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
In light of such events, I think it's time for an English lesson. Yes, it's a bit unorthodox for a blog, but I'm really sick of people who have lived in an English-speaking nation their entire life not being able to speak the language properly and not even noticing what idiots they're making of themselves.
All right, lesson one: typing words. If you are typing on an instant message program and must reply quickly because your friend may die within the hour, then abbreviations are fine. If your friend is fine, then they are quite a nuisance. If you are talking to me, I will expect you to be beyond that, and may respond to you saying "ic" with "Sorry, I don't speak much Anglo-Saxon. Why did you blurt out 'I'?" But now for the important part: if you are doing a formal writing (and I use the term liberally) such as an e-mail, a blog entry, or anything that will appear on the Internet, they are completely unacceptable. Completely. I am far less likely to take an e-mail, blog entry response, et cetera, seriously if it uses such things (lol included).
Well, I'm out of time. Join me again tomorrow for lesson two!
Monday, February 13, 2006: At the local theatre-for three days only: The Royal Nonesuch!
Now then, I have a wrong to be righted. On the Internet there is a Brainerd-based web site. Not the problem. It it advertised often on the radio. Not quite the problem, though it draws it to my attention every day. It lists deals on various products and services: tanning, mechanics, and a whole variety of thing for you to use. Therein lies the problem. Because it's not necessarily for you. It's main selling point is that it's only for those whose genitalia reside within their bodies. Yep. And, as I more or less said earlier, it's not as if it deals merely in feminine hygiene, or something confined merely to that gender. It gives deals for an assortment of useful products. Ah, yes this site is called "Stellaslist.com." So, let's recap: white's only drinking fountains: bad -- women's only financial information: good. I don't get what she's trying to do, reverting us to such primitive sexism. I generally try to push us forward, or not at all. Ah, and this is a killer: Stella once confronted men using her site on the radio. Well, she didn't directly. That would have been too non-sexist. She talked to the women who saw them on there, saying to just "look the other way," meaning that most likely her site gets some sort of kickback for high visitor numbers, causing her to resort to such extremes. I really can't stand that bitch.
While we're on that topic, I have a little test for you. Let's see our standards of slurs. Say "heathen." Go ahead, just blurt it out. All right, now say "nigger." Go on... You had far more people threaten you this time, didn't you? All we fucking care about is anti-black racism, anti-female sexism, and anti-Christian prejudice. Anything else is fair game. Xanga's spell check even recognizes "heathen." It doesn't recognize "nigger," or any swear word, as I have mentioned before. Fucking moronic nation.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006: What can I say in no more than ninety characters?
Tuesday, January 31, 2006: ???
Monday, January 30, 2006: T-shirt idea: "Life's too short to worship ugly gods".
Hmm. I got in my first accident. It was just a little trip to the ditch, but it still sucked. Luckily, I got us neatly between the mailbox and the telephone pole. I may elaborate on that later.
Next, we have a two hour test tomorrow! And it writing! Damn, that's depressing. We're going to have those shitty prompts like "who's you're hero" or "who was your best friend as a child" and I have to take an hour or so to figure out who to exaggerate enough to make it look like I'm not self-motivated or didn't like to be alone as a child or that I didn't do some other horrible, unnatural sin like that. But, I'd say I'm good enough at writing, so if we somehow get an easy prompt of some common activity or idea which I actually did or have, I should do well.
In other news, my brother's cat died. He'll have to tell you about that, since I'm out of time.
Monday, January 30, 2006: T-shirt idea: "Life's too short to worship ugly gods".
Hmm. I got in my first accident. It was just a little trip to the ditch, but it still sucked. Luckily, I got us neatly between the mailbox and the telephone pole. I may elaborate on that later.
Next, we have a two hour test tomorrow! And it writing! Damn, that's depressing. We're going to have those shitty prompts like "who's you're hero" or "who was your best friend as a child" and I have to take an hour or so to figure out who to exaggerate enough to make it look like I'm not self-motivated or didn't like to be alone as a child or that I didn't do some other horrible, unnatural sin like that. But, I'd say I'm good enough at writing, so if we somehow get an easy prompt of some common activity or idea which I actually did or have, I should do well.
In other news, my brother's cat died. He'll have to tell you about that, since I'm out of time.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006: 60659
Kind of funny, though. I mean here we have insane fundies trying to warp our country to their will, and the fucking Vatican, the one with some actual power over more than say, twenty people in a congregation, is warping just so that everyone will agree with them. Which reminds me of when ol' Ratzinger got in. Everywhere ablaze with what this ex-Nazi was going to do. "We want to convert more Jews!" he said. "We want to reach out and turn the Middle East into Catholicland!" he bellowed, causing Catholic missionaries to start writing up their last wills and testaments. And all the while us vile heretics were shaking our heads. But, at least some good seems to have come out of it. One silly superstition down, innumerable more until they're gone. I say it's saints next. I mean, after this, they might just do that in order to get monotheists and Christians. You never know...
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Marriage, you see, is a process where you and another person (in most states, another person of the opposite gender only) go down to the courthouse and get a marriage licence. This is a fucking contract. Nothing more, nothing less. It will not improve your partner's fidelity, and it most certainly does nothing for trust. And that was a major point of her speech: in a relationship, you need trust, respect, et cetera. And yet you need to sign a contract saying that you will be monogamous. You can't trust your partner, or anything like that. You must sign a contract saying such. Now, even if my significant other wished to get married, I simply couldn't, with that realization. That is, I couldn't have a marriage license and a clear conscience.
Ah, but I must speak of the comment card at the end. Now, I had a lengthy list of grievances for my comment sheet last year, so this year I lightened up. Here's what I could remember of it:
How would you rate this presentation:
[ ]Great [ ]Good [ ]Okay [X]Poor
Was there anything you disagreed with in this presentation? [ ]No [X]Yes
Explain: ¡Uf! Where do I start? Your speech made me pay less attention every sentence or two. Unconditional love requiring marriage? Sex being "made" for... sounds a bit too religious.
Before this presentation, will you have sex before marriage?
[ ]No decision
[ ]Will have sex with anyone
[X]Will have sex with someone before you're married
[ ]Will wait to have sex until your married
After this presentation, will you have sex before marriage?
[ ]No decision
[ ]Will have sex with anyone
[X]Will have sex with someone before you're married
[ ]Will wait to have sex until your married
[ ]Need more information about abstinence
Explain: Well, I already mentioned some things above, and I mentioned the rest last year, but given your presentation, you didn't care.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006: ROMANES EUNT DOMUS
Tuesday, January 03, 2006: This entry has a title.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005: If it ain't fixed don't break it.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005: If it ain't fixed don't break it.
Thursday, December 15, 2005: Untitled
I: I have a major disagreement I have to get off my chest.
Mr. Fundie: Alright. Do that.
I: Yesterday, I didn't say it yesterday because I had to catch a bus after school, but um, when you were on the topic of sexual identity and homosexuality, you said "You take a Christian and they will except them." (pause) And I...
F: Well, bu-but-but remember now I qualified that, right? Eighty per cent of our country says they're Christian, they're not. You might get two out of ten who are. But anyway so I'm not saying 80% us are reallyisticly[sic] buying in to that. 'Kay so...
I: Like, what? You're saying they're just saying their Christian to fit in.
F: Yes, right. And if it can, it's convenient of them to be a Christian.
I: Hm.
F: But I don't think they're conservative and probably [unintelligible].
I: 'Cause it seems like, you know, most of the people who disagree with homosexuality or are non-acceptant of homosexuals use argument like, you know, um, "God doesn't like this way" blah, blah, blah, blah blah. You know, mostly Christian arguments for not accepting homosexua...
F: Well, yeah, n, homosexual marriage, not homo, see now, these, you got to make sure you sh, well, you know.
I: Oh, well ,k...
F: No, you, because,
I: You know, lots of thing like, you know, um...
F: Oh, [unintelligible], some of them, ultra rights, I don't buy any of that either. Yeah. No.
I was saying something at that time, but it's hard to hear over his voice.
I: ...hardly the, you know, "Christians will accept homosexuals".
F: B, er, well you don't think they do?
(pause)
I: Sometimes, sometimes not.
F: Right. And that...
I: ...Yeah...
F: ...to me puts it to that 80%...
I: ...Ah...
F: ...who claim they're, they're Christians they're not. So, yeah.
I: Yeah, 'cause it's, yeah, it just sounded to me like you were doing a generalization.
F: Oh, I do that a lot in here, so I wish you'd have caught me in class so we could have said it in class.
More unintelligible simulspeach on my behalf.
I: (Unintelligible)
F:(laughing) (odd noise), what? We had to speak about it?
I: Yeah, usually, like, you know [I should quit doing that], um, when I disagree with anyone about anything religious it takes like an hour or so to (laughing).
F: Okay, well maybe they should settle down, too. Because that, I-I, they're, there're times when I'll through out because I want an argument, I want a response.
I: Ah.
F: 'N' people won't see [possibly a poor pronunciation of "say"] anything. Or the[y] will go off in the wrong direction, like they started to do with the homosexual deal, but I don't want to talk about that.
I:Yeah.
F: I want to, you know, just, I want to talk about (pause) you know, genetics as compared to, um, choice, or whatever, 'n', you know, I don't know if that will ever be solved.
I: Yeah, um, I think the current scientific thought is, like, genetics.
F: Well, again, 'n' it's, you know, just, you go to the Christian conservative, 'n' I don't classify myself in the ultra-conservative right wing. But, like I said yesterday, I-I-I, what I don't understand is that, where were all the homosexuals [35 years ago, when he was in the army, for nothingness's sake], 'n' I know what my friend will say, 'n' I have, mmmmmmmmm, four friends who are gay. 'N' I will, 'n' they will say to me, "they just didn't dare," (unintelligible) I just can't believe that, you know. Maybe.
I: Well, varying times like, um, earlier times there were, um, like you were saying at an earlier point, with the Roman Empire...
F: ...Ah...
I: ...with like, the, yeah, the more homosexuals then, because it was more acceptable. You know, like, um...
F: Well, the guys were neutered. You know, so they, they couldn't, er, have sex with the king's wife, or whatever, they were, nymph [a kind of ancient Greek goddess, who was highly attractive and playful], or whatever they called them.
I: Er, eunuch.
F: Munichs, right.
I: Yeah. Um, I thought that was just their bodyguards, like...
F: Well, yeah, (unintelligible), and house servants, and maidservants, and things like that. Right, yes, but they wanted them safe.
I: Yeah.
F: But the thing is, that's what brought the Roman Empire down, too, that they had no rules. Whatever you wanted to do, you could do it.
I: I always thought it was the Vandals.
F(at "it was"): And I'm not saying that if you legalize homosexuals that's what'll happen. But (long pause) I (pause) wanted an argument I didn't get one except it went the wrong way[lack of punctuation intentional]. So, um, I do generalize, yeah, I will generalize with marijuana, too. Um, I will generalize with (unintelligible). Um, and I'll look for the kind of argument I want. You know? So, don't 'esitate to-to-to, even come back a day later and it would've been fine if you'd have questioned me today about that.
I: Yeah.
F: During class (unintelligible). I-I know it's tough to get this group (pause).
I: Yeah.
F: Serious enough to ever discuss anything like that, because you will have a couple just gay-bashing, an'-an' I'm not going to tolerate that.
I: Yeah, I know.
F: N-n, It's not polite, it's not, mature.
I: That's very common in this region.
F: (pause) Y-well, it is. Um. (pause) People are getting really polarized in our country I mean I don't know, (unintelligible), you start looking at things like, "well, I'm a black American," 'n', "I'm a Hispanic American," 'nd, "I'm a Chicano American," 'n', "I'm a Spanish American," and, "I'm an Irish American," 'n' I'm still from a generation who said: "all of you guys: black, white, red, yellow, you all fought in a wars to preserve our freedom. We're Americans, we're not (pause) we're not individuals. We don't need five languages here. You know, we need one, where we can all communicate and love each other. We don't, we don't need to be (long pause) you know, individuals. (unintelligible). We're, France is seeing that, I think. France thought they could just let the Muslim, two or three billion Muslims, come in. And continue with their language and their own religion. And, not to provide them with anything, just land. 'N' the next thing you know, we've got riots. Why do the riots happen if they had (pause) complete (pause) autonomy. You know.
I: Huh.
F: What? (pause) My daughter would love to discuss with you, she-she loves debate.
I: Yeah.
F: I-see I got practice on her. I will make some outrageous statements 'n' then she'll...
I: ...Yeah...
F: ...jump all over me.
I: You see, I get jumped on a lot, because, um, I'm an Atheist, and this is a heavily religious area, so, like...
F: They claim to be. There's what, four churches per block everywhere in this town You know I've left three churches because they were anything but religious, we've got so many (pause) so many (long pause) churches (pause) that, um, profess to be Christian. But in our country you do surveys, our country says 80% of our, our country, er, is Christian. But if that was the case, why would we be anti-gay? [Because God hates fags.] Why would we be anti-black? [Because it's the mark of Cain.] Why would we be, er, what else do we (unintelligible) rich? [Because God wants His people to be successful.] Why do we (pause) we attack? [Because God is jealous and Christians are His servants on Earth.] (unintelligible) Christians (unintelligible).
I: Well, you know, um, to varying degrees, you know, like, um, a lot of (unintelligible), again (unintelligible) the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, and things like that. Whereas pro-gays, (pause) um, focus on, um [I couldn't think of anything], I think I once heard a line, um, "You can use The Bible to back up anything." Um, "except homosexuality," was actually the line, but, um, I don't know.
F: Er (pause) But-but in order for it to justify anything, you'd have to believe it's the true spoken word of God, 'n' if you don't believe that, then you can't be Christian anyway. You can profess to be one...
I: ...Yes...
F: But you're not going to be, yeah.[Wow. So if someone uses The Bible to back up their stance (which most, if not all, Christians do) then they are true Christians. He just wrecked his entire argument. I guess he's just so Christian that contradictions just come naturally to him.]
I: (unintelligible)
F: Well, I-I, you know, a Muslim can have his beliefs, an' believe that, er, Mohammad, you know, received direct, um, information from God. You can be, er, an Atheist, who believes in, what? No higher power?
I: Er, yeah.
F: Okay. Um, and then (unintelligible). You know, 'n' then I have a friend who's 84 years old, he's a college professor out in [town name omitted]. He taught his last class last spring, 'n' (untypable stuttering) he was finally going one class a year. And, said, my friend sent this book to his wife, and him, and he started to question life, and is this all there is? And when I visit with him I say "no, I've got forever to live." [That's awfully arrogant of you.] And you have 70 years if you, 76 years if you follow national average. And then what's left for you, nothing.
I: Yeah.
F: Emptiness. A black hole.
I: Mhm.
F: I said, "at least even if The Bible isn't true, I've lived my life, where I've tried to be good to other people, and I know that I will live an eternity." [The arrogance is astounding.] So, I can believe that, I don't care if you do. I, I wish you would. [That means you care.]
I: Well, I generally, you know, am nice to others, but I don't see the sense in eternal life, but, that's that.
F: Right. And, I-I, my daughter's boyfriend, er, ex-boyfriend, now, um, 's family, said: "I don't know why you need The Bible, I don't know why you need church." He says: "We're great to people. We love people, we're kind to people, we give money to people." (pause) That's good.
I: Yeah.
F: But, are you going to have eternal life? Why wouldn't they? [Same reason they don't have trolls and færies in their yard.] Wouldn't you, wouldn't that, kind of, if thought you could have an answer wouldn't you want to know that answer? [It's 42]
I: Errr. Yeah. But, you know, I can't seem to find anything that like, you know, except for mythology [And science. Forgot to mention that.] and that's all The Bible is to me.
F: You know what I'm going to do for you? I'll bring you a book tomorrow. [That book never came.] Er, I had a class, an archeologist came in and talked about the archeology of The Bible. The Bible has 26000 proofs that it's authentic. [I've heard them. "This prophecy about a whore dieing is exactly what happened at the world trade center," or "if it weren't true people wouldn't die for it's principles," and other such nonsensical rubbish.] But then they went to the next biggest one was manuscripts of, some of the great writers, um, I can't even think of it now. (unintelligible) er, let's see, Horatio, it's not Horatio, well some of the great, er, scientists of their time. [Remember: back then a scientist was really just a philosopher.] And they have, like, 200 manuscripts, 500 manuscripts, these are all things that are personal eyewitnessed, eye accounts [Or are they just assuming that because it agrees with their precious book, which is based upon the old myths which the writers of that time liked to relay. Oh, wait, these are fundies. They're most likely saying that since they saw someone swim it was Jesus walking on water, and so forth.] of the miracles that Jesus performed, blah, blah, blah. So, (unintelligible) that it kind of opened my daughter's eyes, because she's not, she believes in a higher power. Er, but she's not around,'n' she's not calling Him "God". But I asked her, "well, what is your god? 'N' who's your god?" Then she gets angry with me. (unintelligible) you have a higher power, she said: "yeah," I said: "okay. But that big book that you read out of," I said, "what does that believe?" Then she got angry 'n' I said: "okay, that's fine. You know that whatever you have is fine. Um, for you, it's not for me. So it's okay for you. I don't need to force anything. 'Cause it won't matter. You know, you can't force things on people. People will just, this 84 year old guy is, now, he says: "you know, I've lived a good life, but if this is all there is to it, it really hasn't been much." (long pause) I've loved every day I've lived.
I: Well, my life's been pretty good.
F: But I guess that's, that's my only thing. Um, 80% of our country professes to be Christian, and if they're Christian, the way they treat (pause) each other, is horrible. I wouldn't even want to be a Christian if I had to do (unintelligible).
I: Yeah.
F: That-that these people do and that they say. You know. (long pause) Well, I wish you would have, er, I hope though that. You-y-y-you (unintelligible) if you, er, I hate to say this, (unintelligible) make some exaggerated statements, if you would, er, come back the next day and say: "you know, [Fundie], you were talking yesterday and I thought: 'hey, I disagree with you'"
I: Alright.
F: I'd love that. (Rest is unintelligible)
So, there you have it. All of the intelligible portions of my conversation with Mr. Fundie, in which he got off topic like a madman, tried to convert me, used one of those moronic "not a true Christian" arguments to say that anyone who doesn't get the same thing out of the parts of The Bible which he's read or heard as he did isn't a Christian, an contradicted himself in more areas that I mentioned.
Thursday, 18 May 2006
Tuesday, December 13, 2005: The elipsis and the brackets. Two tools that let you make a quote say whatever you want
At any rate, next topic: Street Scene. It was the play that God was in. It was great! God was the humorous Italian ice cream salesman. It was awesome! And, other people I kow were in it. Like Mackenzie, and Smarl, and... You know, that might have been it. But, at any rate, God is most certainly going to be the star of Necropolis (as we have entitled our movie. Well, I don't think I have enough time to touch on the rest of my notes. At this rate, I just might finish that posted list before I'm finished with life! Well, here's hoping!
What is Russian for "comrade"?
Greetings to one and to all! Seeing as I haven't posted for a while, I have a downright list from which to work. This may be odd. Why don't I just give you the list to start it out. First, though, I must warn you of two things: firstly, that it is written in a runic alphabet, and the transliteration is literal. Therefore, some words will have odd spellings, due to the addition of certain letters (namely "þ" and "ŋ") and lack of others (namely "k" and "v"). Secondly, the list is minorly edited, seeing as I don't use aliases on it. The list is as follows:
Notes for blog.
[Mr. Fundie]'s fundie paranoia.
Street Scene.
Adopted student.
New monarchy.
[Name omitted]'s mastery of þe English Language.
CPR.
[Mr. Fundie]'s brain falacy.
Dreams of history and flim.
Principalities.
["]Yes[,] Hester?["]
Poll of critter names.
Morons' ["]t["] pronunciation.
Racism[,] sexism[,] and whateuer it's called for religion.
Healþ class name yelli?.
Agiŋ uideo.
What is Russian for ["]Comrade["]
House lice a political cartoon.
Poem about þe loŋ s.
Þat test.
Looc at metros for old liuiŋ places.
Walciŋ into þat fire hydrant.
[Mr. Fundie] beiŋ an asshole about disfunctional families.
Ciuil war flippant.
Yep. That how I do without time, a spell checker, "k", or "u". And here's how I do when I'm running out of time!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005: Pure torture: an Atheist named "Faith" or "Christian".
Next topic: today's Nabal update. Alright, now you most likely remember when I first introduced you to this highly irritating individual. If you don't here's the key quote I will be addressing:
"...Someone else... was dressed as Hitler. I heard about it before gym, when a Jewish chick was bitching about it..."
Well, this rather confused individual now has me rather confused. About her neck, falling short of the breasts which she continually flaunts in vain (for they do nothing to offset the repulsion of her character) fell a golden cross. Honestly. Now, needless to say, someone who does not believe in the New Testament would, reasonably, not wear the symbol of its followers. And given that she constantly talks of all other things, her conversion would have most definitely found my ear.
That leaves three options, as I figure it:
Option the first: She pretends to be Christian in order to fit in. This, of course, would have prevented her from stating her Judaism prior to that first entry about her.
Option the second: She was wearing it as part of a dare. This is doubtful, as she would have explained that to everyone who cared to listen and most everyone who didn't.
Option the third: She is, and was, a Christian, and merely claimed to be Jewish (Perhaps to give her word more kick {though if that was the goal, it failed}).
Well, time's up. Still got loads to tell you, but that'll have to wait.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005: Fight for peace, drink to health, and fuck for chastity.
Secondly, something which one of my school's deans of students said. It was in an article in the school paper on the dress code. Now, of course the dress code is ridiculous. It is based on the morals and opinions of major fundies, and has such preposterous regulations as "no backless garments". Most likely, we know this already. Before we get to the quote, however, I would like to critique part of the article. The list of rules did this ridiculous repetition of rules thing. Now, once would have been cute (if it was on something particularly important), but they way overshot that. Here is the list (I shit you not):
*No headgear of any kind until after 3:10pm.
*No backless garments
*No short skirts or shorts
*No backless garments
*No short skirts or shorts
*No heavy chains
*No spiked accessories or jewelry
*No clothing containing messages referring to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs
*No bare midriffs
*No visible cleavage
*No short skirts or shorts
*No exposed undergarments
Yup. That's how stupid my school is. But, to the quote: "Individualism is highly appreciated, however, expressing that should be done on your fee time." You dumb fucking Neo-Nazi cunt (And for the record, I'm not usually inclined to using that word). How the fuck can she think that being yourself, a basic part of human dignity, should be saved for your free time? It's just the kind of rampant conformism which caused another Thing I have to bitch about. Heightmax™. It's this over the counter drug which I will talk about tomorrow, when I have time.
Monday, November 21, 2005: Ąß¥œŊĎέЃتץ
Also, me and some friends are planning out an independent zombie film. So far we've got me writing it, some folks (mainly me, Spike, and a friend who I will call "Larry", because it's his first name) working on the planning, and two possible cast members-me as "Tom"-the dark, intelligent major character; and Lady Lane as "Blondie"-the abnormally intelligent main zombie. It'll be great!
And for an update on the war, check the comments on the last entry. Part in peace!
Saturday, November 19, 2005: We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertanty!
Friday, November 18, 2005: Ain't ain't a word 'cause it wasn't in the dictionary over four decades ago.
Roll, roll, roll your jointTwist it at the endLight it upTake a puffAnd pass it to a friend
That was great, wasn't it? Anyway, I would like to mention an odd dealy which happened lately: the "Day of Silence for Peace". This is kind of like those walks/races for curing diseases which donate profits to education, treatment, and other things which are not cures. By that I mean that it was an act for something which does nothing for it and makes no sense whatsoever. Also, the participants which I saw communicated through notes and signing, defeating the purpose. It may have been to get attention, but this just got a sort of "okay, that's weird" attention with none toward the message they were attempting to give (as should be expected). It may have also been to remember the evils of war, though one of my friends didn't seem to get that, if that was the point, and was the cheeriest I've seen her in a while, though I won't name any names. Nabal, though she had considered it, decided not to participate, which was a pity because I could have done without her constant, random, illogical chatter. I also heard of the local peace group planning a "walk out", where students walk out of their classes during school. Once again, pointless and in no way related to the objective, but this time there also being lazy and anti-scholastic. Needless to say, I won't participate. On the plus side, there was a protest at the local recruiting center, which went well. I wasn't there, seeing as it was way too fucking cold to do anything outside, but here's what my brother said happened: there was a small pro-war group (between a third and half the size of the anti-war one) standing behind them, one of who said "fuck the First Amendment" about the anti-war folks; a semi honked at them, which was good since they had a "Honk for Peace" sign among many other signs and two "Peace" flags (the pro-war group had one sign, which read "Thank our Troops", and one American flag), and a guy with many Christian bumper stickers stopped by and called them "some of the lowest communist scum out there", after which the group leader said that that guy had been bothering them for three years.
Also, my health class is pissing me off more and more. We're learning first aid, just like last year, with assumption of no prior knowledge. This, of course, means that half of last year was just a blip in lesson planning, and a waste of our time. Also, when ever Mr. Fundie mentions breathing, I start thinking about mine. Then me having to consciously breathe makes me think about my blinking. Even typing about it is making it happen. On a humorous note, Nabal seems more deserving of her alias every day. First, she said about how she's incredibly allergic to bees, yet doesn't carry her epinephrine pen with her; then, she said that she has a potassium deficiency, yet doesn't wear the bracelet designed to inform medical personnel of this. These, companied by any other medical problems she's being an idiot about, are why I predict that she will be dead within the next five years. Speaking of death, It's time for me to end this entry.
Thursday, November 17, 2005: Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005: My god, it's full of stars.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005: The answer to number 19 is "c".
For all of ye who may enter this realm, allow me to state as follows: I greet thee most eagerly. Today, I would primarily like to speak more of my health class. Firstly, I have an alias for that bitch who thinks that people don't have rights in school. It shall be "Nâbâl" (though those ^'s are annoying, so I won't use them). I chose this because it's Biblical Hebrew for "fool". 'Tis fitting, no? Secondly, I have remembered another action of my fundie teacher. He blamed the fall of the Roman Empire on sexual freedom. No, that was not a typo. He actually said that Rome fell because you "could sleep with anyone or anything you wanted to". Now, of course it fell because the Barbarians conquered them. Everyone but this intolerant fuck knows that. For him to say that just because they didn't have to follow Christian morals in regards to sexuality their empire collapsed is too horrible for words. And they allow this man to educate the masses. Fuck, you might as well say "the Egyptians were conquered because they were all niggers." That would have been in equally bad taste, however it would get him fired, and the other didn't. Ah yes, and he has this childish little habit of having some folks get up at the beginning of class and compliment someone (Nabal was skipped and didn't care). This, I believe, is because he may not notice that we are in the high school, not the pre-school building. There they want you to all be friends and develop good manners and habits, whereas in later grades they typically respect your right to enjoy certain people's company and avoid that of others. Not Mr. Fundie (that alias didn't quite take as long). At any rate, on to better subjects.
I would next wish to speak of a humorous incident which occurred whilst I was randomly browsing the library with a friend of mine, a certain Mr.W----. While we were going down an aisle, W---- saw a book entitled The Amateur Naturalist. He immediately pulled it out and relieved to see pictures of rocks and plants and the lot. Now, after a bit of evasive conversing, I think that he confused naturalist with naturist, the European/nudist term for, well, nudist. You should have seen the look on his face. You see, I may have pulled it out inquisitively to see if it was what I thought it was, but he freaked out. 'Twas hilarious! But, of course, he's a bit more of the strait-laced Christian type than I. At any rate, I must leave now. So long to all of ye!
Monday, November 14, 2005: Always be wary of a blind man holding a gun.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005: Holy Shit, I can add a title!
1) Raise grades
2) Learn Spanish, Japanese, and Latin
3) Somehow prove that God doesn't exist
Crazy, eh? I also figured out that "homicide" is Latin for "manslaughter". Makes you wonder why they're separate charges. Anyway, my gym class changed to health, and we had a dealy about harassment today. We got off on a tangent about whether or not wearing a shirt that offends a certain person is harassment. Of course, guess who said yes. I should give her an alias since I don't know (or care to find out) her real name. Anyway, the teacher gave this example of this guy who said (when people said "just don't look") "sure, I'll go to school wearing my 'masturbation' t-shirt. Then I'll have one with a picture of a guy raping an infant." It continued, and the point was, well if you don't know, then how are you smart enough to be literate? At any rate, how's this? Why don't I try and get crosses banned, due to the inquisition. Or, since the Ku Klux Klan wears white, let's not have people wear that. It'd be offensive. See, it works either way.